Don’t Steal from Your Kids by Giving Them too Much

I know a loving mom who does just about everything to make sure her kids are happy every second of the day. If there isn’t the type of food they like in the fridge, she runs to the store to buy it. Whenever the newest electronic device comes out, she makes sure they’re the first to own it.

Of course, she refrains from requiring any chores out of them, because she knows they work hard at school. Besides, it upsets them when she asks them to help.

Unfortunately, and unintentionally, mom is stealing from her children. They are two of the most miserable human beings on earth. They walk around; actually they sit around most of the time, with scowls on their faces. Because mom has stolen their self-esteem and gotten them hooked on stuff, nothing seems to bring happiness or contentment. Everything is “stupid” or “boring.”

When we train our kids to believe that getting stuff is the key to happiness, might we be stealing their lifelong joy and sense of fulfillment? In our CD, From Innocence to Entitlement, we teach that true contentment comes from earning things rather than being showered with them.

To protect your children from this type of insidious theft, experiment with the following:

• The next time your child wants something, ask, “How do you think you might earn that?”
• Instead of taking on the problem of affording the item, say, “You may have that as soon as you can afford it.”
• Give them some ideas about how they might earn the required cash, and give yourself a pat on the back for not giving in.
• Notice how proud they are when they earn things through good old-fashioned perspiration.

[Jim Fay]