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Archive for July, 2010

The Computer Contest

One day Jesus and Satan were arguing about who had the greatest computer skills. They argued and argued. When they had drawn a crowd of onlookers and were still going at it hot and heavy, the angels– fallen and not–started to take sides and make bets.

Well God had had quite enough of this and decided to intervene. He told Jesus and Satan that there would be a progamming contest between the two that would settle the argument of who was better.

They both began program- ming day and night to win the contest. They were at their computers for an eternity when ZAP came a flash of lightning from God and their
screens went blank.

The day of reckoning had come. "Well, let’s see what you have done", said God.
So, Satan reboots his computer calls up his program and the screen is blank. Nothing! He turns, smiles and looks at Jesus.

Jesus reboots his computer, calls up his program, and an infinite universe appears: Colorful, luminescent, in breathtaking 3-D, with populations of people and animals, building, working, eating, loving, giving birth, and dying.

"THAT’S NOT FAIR," shouted Satan.

"Oh, yes it is," God said, "Jesus saves."

The 7-Ups

1. Wake Up – Decide to have a good day.
    "Today is the day the Lord hath made; let us rejoice & be glad in it" Psalms 118:24

2. Dress Up – The best way to dress up is to put on a smile. A smile is an inexpensive way to improve your looks.
    "The Lord does not look at the things man looks at. Man looks at outward appearance but the Lord looks at the heart" I Sam 16:7

3. Shut Up – Say nice things & learn to listen. God gave us 2 ears and 1 mouth so He must have meant for us to do twice as much listening as talking.
    "He who guards his lips guards his soul" Proverbs 13:3
    "Gossip betrays confidence avoid men who talk too much" Proverbs 20:19
    "Listen to advice, accept instruction and in the end, you will be wise" Proverbs 19:20

4. Stand Up – For what you believe in. Stand for something or you will fall for anything.
    "Let us not be weary in doing good; for at the proper time, we will reap a harvest if we do not give up. Therefore, as we have opportunity, let us do good…" Galatians 6:9-10

5. Look Up – To the Lord.
    "I can do everything through Him who gives me strength" Philippians 4:13

6. Reach Up – For something higher.
    "…press toward the mark for the prize of the high calling of God in Christ Jesus." Philippians 3:14

7. Lift Up – Your Prayers.
    "Do not worry about anything; instead PRAY ABOUT EVERYTHING" Philippians 4:6